I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
