my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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