A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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