it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
