He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
