You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
