i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
