I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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