There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
