I want to make a zoo with you.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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