And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
