Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
