I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
