She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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