I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
