just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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