Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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