i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
