don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
