I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
