We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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