I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
