just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
