I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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