Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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