I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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