I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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