ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was like eating out sand paper
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
