Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
