somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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