i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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