Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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