ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
