she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
