i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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