If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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