fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Non-Jews are for practice
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
