I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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