Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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