Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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