i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
