Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
