I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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