It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
