You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize