I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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