doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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