I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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