Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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