There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
