Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So vagazzling was a success
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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