Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
