look no pants
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
