Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's blow job season.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
