4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
