just tell him i said nine months
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
