You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
