I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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