Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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